hello world,
so apparently, i have misjudged some people. which kinda hurts because ive been so close to these people for so long and theyre not who i think they are...at all. i can't believe im just finding out about this now but i guess better late than never? some people can act totally fake around you and show their true feelings to others and let them know how they really feel. i just dont get why you cant be straight up and real with me in the first place. if you have a problem with me, id be happy to hear it from you...i dont need you smiling in my face acting like you like me and then turn around and say s*** about me. i grew up with you guys and we've been close ever since...im just now finding out that it's been fake all this time? but no worries, this just teaches me that i cant trust easily and dont worry...i wont be a bother to you guys EVER again so DEUCES =)
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
March.3/2012
hello world,
its sabbath! went to church today and decided to stay for potluck which was delicious! people come and go in my church so now it feels like it's not the church i grew up in. so many new faces...i thought i walked into the wrong church O_o
i guess you could say its family day today...a bunch of aunts and uncles are going to head to this supposedly "fancy" restaurant for dinner tonight and my cousin & i didnt feel like going so she's going to come over and spend some time with me...(along with some company) but it'll be fun =) im tired of going out till late at night with friends so it's nice to stay in for once and just chill.
the weather has been up and down lately =/ it was even snowing just a few days ago! i wish the summer sun would come out to play...gloomy weathers never make anyone happy. especially when they're hoping for a better day every morning they wake.
its sabbath! went to church today and decided to stay for potluck which was delicious! people come and go in my church so now it feels like it's not the church i grew up in. so many new faces...i thought i walked into the wrong church O_o
i guess you could say its family day today...a bunch of aunts and uncles are going to head to this supposedly "fancy" restaurant for dinner tonight and my cousin & i didnt feel like going so she's going to come over and spend some time with me...(along with some company) but it'll be fun =) im tired of going out till late at night with friends so it's nice to stay in for once and just chill.
the weather has been up and down lately =/ it was even snowing just a few days ago! i wish the summer sun would come out to play...gloomy weathers never make anyone happy. especially when they're hoping for a better day every morning they wake.
Friday, March 2, 2012
March.2/2012
hello world,
yeah...i've decided to post more than one post per day. just in case something happens and i forget about it at the end of the day. and i just can't wait to share it with you! =)
a good friend of mine came to visit and hang out with me today =) she really helped me keep my mind off things. we went to this asian mall today. it's pretty much full of chinese people so i fit right in! =p especially when we're ordering and i would have to order for her. but then again, i get to practice my chinese cause God knows i need some help on that LOL
i did something really dumb today. remember how i was trying to forget about something? well i broke that consistency today =/ i approached that something and felt sad afterwards...as i thought i would. luckily my friend was there...i never really like to show my emotions in front of others...(with some exceptions)...so i held back my emotions. i dont know what i'm going to do! everything is such a confusion, i wish it was as easy as turning of an engine or stopping at the stop light. i guess it's just hard to forget and let it all go because i miss it all...
yeah...i've decided to post more than one post per day. just in case something happens and i forget about it at the end of the day. and i just can't wait to share it with you! =)
a good friend of mine came to visit and hang out with me today =) she really helped me keep my mind off things. we went to this asian mall today. it's pretty much full of chinese people so i fit right in! =p especially when we're ordering and i would have to order for her. but then again, i get to practice my chinese cause God knows i need some help on that LOL
i did something really dumb today. remember how i was trying to forget about something? well i broke that consistency today =/ i approached that something and felt sad afterwards...as i thought i would. luckily my friend was there...i never really like to show my emotions in front of others...(with some exceptions)...so i held back my emotions. i dont know what i'm going to do! everything is such a confusion, i wish it was as easy as turning of an engine or stopping at the stop light. i guess it's just hard to forget and let it all go because i miss it all...
March.2/2012
hello world,
just a quick update. lately ive been trying to forget something that meant a lot to me. something that i kept holding onto for maybe a little too long. but something always brings me back to it and it never takes long. i thought maybe this time would be different and i could make it through but just last night, i had a dream that brought it all back!! >=l ive been praying to God to ask him to help me because i know i cant do it on my own and then He gives me this dream! i dont know if he's trying to test my patience or what but it's getting harder and harder.
just a quick update. lately ive been trying to forget something that meant a lot to me. something that i kept holding onto for maybe a little too long. but something always brings me back to it and it never takes long. i thought maybe this time would be different and i could make it through but just last night, i had a dream that brought it all back!! >=l ive been praying to God to ask him to help me because i know i cant do it on my own and then He gives me this dream! i dont know if he's trying to test my patience or what but it's getting harder and harder.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
March.2/2012
hello world,
how is love out there for you guys? some of you may know that i had a special someone to call my own up until this past november. im sad to see it end but happy to see it get to happen at all. there are certain experiences in life that teaches you a lot of new things and makes you come to a realization of what is really going on.
to all those people who have been in love and been hurt afterwards, we've all been there. sometimes, there are feelings that you cannot describe. feelings that you wish you could share with someone else so hopefully they can take some of the pain away but it seems that nobody else is hurting but you. isn't it funny how sometimes the people who hurt you most, are the people you keep going back to? but at the same time, the people you love/want the most are the people you're best without. sometimes, the only way to love that person is to not be with them. my friend once asked me "why did God create such a thing called love if people get hurt from it?" honestly, i wonder the same thing too but i have no clue. i just think that God does everything for a reason and all we should do is trust in Him and have faith that He's taking care of you even if you feel like turning on Him.
my relationship with God isn't where i want it to be. i keep telling myself that i need to work on it; i even plan out what i need to do to improve but it somehow ends up being postponed to...never happening. God has been with me through thick and thin..sometimes i wonder why He still puts up with me when everyone else around me has given up. i realize that i blame Him for bad things happening more than i thank Him for positive outcomes. so i apologize Lord!
how is love out there for you guys? some of you may know that i had a special someone to call my own up until this past november. im sad to see it end but happy to see it get to happen at all. there are certain experiences in life that teaches you a lot of new things and makes you come to a realization of what is really going on.
to all those people who have been in love and been hurt afterwards, we've all been there. sometimes, there are feelings that you cannot describe. feelings that you wish you could share with someone else so hopefully they can take some of the pain away but it seems that nobody else is hurting but you. isn't it funny how sometimes the people who hurt you most, are the people you keep going back to? but at the same time, the people you love/want the most are the people you're best without. sometimes, the only way to love that person is to not be with them. my friend once asked me "why did God create such a thing called love if people get hurt from it?" honestly, i wonder the same thing too but i have no clue. i just think that God does everything for a reason and all we should do is trust in Him and have faith that He's taking care of you even if you feel like turning on Him.
my relationship with God isn't where i want it to be. i keep telling myself that i need to work on it; i even plan out what i need to do to improve but it somehow ends up being postponed to...never happening. God has been with me through thick and thin..sometimes i wonder why He still puts up with me when everyone else around me has given up. i realize that i blame Him for bad things happening more than i thank Him for positive outcomes. so i apologize Lord!
March.1/2012
hello world,
it's been awhile since ive been on here. thought it was time i get back and updated you on whats been going on around here. here it goes!
i went to school in Tennessee as you know until this past december =/ i decided to come home for personal reasons and i dont plan on going back unless it's for occasional visits which im planning for august! =) nice & hot and perfect time to get my tan on LOL but i'm still sad to leave that place...i've made so many memories there...it's practically my second home. i miss the school environment there and most of all, i miss the people there! i'm really hoping i dont lose touch with any of them..
although coming home was difficult for me, i'm happy i've made it this far =) so much has been going on that it's just been one big mess. luckily, i have work and friends to keep my mind off things because once i get a moment of silence to myself...it just isn't pretty.
it's been awhile since ive been on here. thought it was time i get back and updated you on whats been going on around here. here it goes!
i went to school in Tennessee as you know until this past december =/ i decided to come home for personal reasons and i dont plan on going back unless it's for occasional visits which im planning for august! =) nice & hot and perfect time to get my tan on LOL but i'm still sad to leave that place...i've made so many memories there...it's practically my second home. i miss the school environment there and most of all, i miss the people there! i'm really hoping i dont lose touch with any of them..
although coming home was difficult for me, i'm happy i've made it this far =) so much has been going on that it's just been one big mess. luckily, i have work and friends to keep my mind off things because once i get a moment of silence to myself...it just isn't pretty.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
May. 29/2011
so some people really think they all that. like really now!!? i never liked u from the beginning and it turns out i never will till the end! so get over yourself and move on bitch!! >=( u aint my daddy and u never will be no matter who u want to fool; even my mother. but thats okay cause i can see right thru u, all ur flaws down to the core. so dont ever expect me to respect you and accept you cause you're just a fake ass bitch!!
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