so when something goes wrong in your life...at the end, theres always something that comes out positive from the situation. in this case, it was a special someone who helped me through my hard times and struggles.
when you're so close to reaching your goals and dreams, u almost feel invincible and u feel this joy and happiness overflowing through you...but then its just too good to be true. something or someone just always has to come around and stomp all over your plans and ruin everything for you. well in this situation, its my mother. >=l she has like everything planned out for me...for my whole life; according to the way she wants my life to be...and the way i want to live my life is just out of the question. in highschool, i would understand if she tried to control my life leading me to the right direction but now that im going into college...shouldnt it be my choice?? shouldnt i be able to choose what to do with the rest of my life? so why is she still in control telling me what to do!? its bad enough that shes making me change universities last minute but for me to change what i want to major into..!? if youre doing something you dont enjoy, youre not goin to put much effor into it. doesnt she get that being a doctor or lawyer or something to do with tons and tons of money just isnt my thing...well mayb the money part is =p anyways, i have absolutely no say in this since shes the one paying for my tuition so again...im under her command. i thought that i would finally be free when she allowed me to go to California to go schooling...but again, it was all too good to be true.
just when i thought i found the key to unlock my chains....it turns out to be the wrong key. (<----haha i got that from ur msn status brandon! xD) well anyways..im determined to find the right key...someday =p
Monday, May 31, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
May.26/2010
365 Days dreaming of you
8760 Hours thinking of you
525600 Minutes missing you
315360000 milli seconds
just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me =)
P.S happy birthday mommy! i love you forever & always! <3
8760 Hours thinking of you
525600 Minutes missing you
315360000 milli seconds
just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me =)
P.S happy birthday mommy! i love you forever & always! <3
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
May.25/2010
All day I've been wanting to see your face. I can't seem to focus on any of my work. The smile on your face make me want to confess to you that i like you without realizing. I like being just a friend to you if it means that I'll be by your side. I don't want to forget you cause you're my most important friend. You're my best friend but you can't be my boyfriend. Whenever I look at you, I know you would only look back at me as just a friend. You're my everything but i cant confess to you so you live inside my heart. Whenever im staring at you as more than a friend, without even realizing my heart starts to ache. Im afraid my true feelings will show so i try to hide it to myself. Im slowly growing farther away from you. From now on when i'm by your side, ill see you only as a good friend but i'll still cherish you as much as i like you.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
May.20/2010
i dont know why but this has been stuck in my head for some time and i think if i wrote it out, it will slowly leave me =p
Loneliness sends a dark wind that doesn't leave. Remembering the excitement of love. The sky so red,the warmth so strong. Your face surfaces in my heart, living together in this city's maze, every mention of your name causes my heart to skip a beat, and yet we don't meet again. Only the touch remains. And yet we don't dare to touch emotionally. Perhaps we really were too young. From our cluelessness. Wandering our separate skies. Allowing each other to choose what to say, but this longing still turns. A hand that can't be held is now an anonymous friend. But my attachment is still persistent and you have nothing to do with the tears I swallow.
haha that has absolutely nothing to do with anything! =p jus thought maybe if i shared..it would get out of my head...if any of it even makes sense LOL
so anyways, im goin camping soon a.k.a tomorow! but i heard the weather isnt very good while the weather here is goin to be sunny all the way =/ the only reason why im excited is the people that are gonna be/goin there. other than that...its totally bull heh =p
so yesterday, i opened my email and saw that La Sierra sent me an email and when it opened it....BAAAMMM!! it tells me im accepted!! =) haha i called my mom right away and she was super happy for me. and now that im over in california..i can be closer to the friend i want to see most =) and of course...its CALIFORNIA, L.A...WHAT ISNT THERE TO BE EXCITED ABOUT!! haha the only thing is...ill be stuck dorming which kinda sucks cause i dont kno who my roommate would be since all the friends i kno are graduating this year or have already gradated =/ i hope i dont get some freak haha but i realy want to live with my friend who's quite close by..but shes goin to some art school and shes gonna rent an apartment so we could share..? i really hope the school board will let!!! haha i cannot be goin to school and sleepin there for 5-6 years all year round...i would die =p
so anyways, i got a project due tomorow and me and my partner dont have an idea yet on what we're doing...and we're plannin on meeting up at 9pm and who knows what time we'll be done. haha but thats the thing about my class...we always wing everything and end up doin okay or pretty good but never a fail LOL i jus hope he doesnt fall asleep or anything cause we're so doomed tomorw =/ i hate making up skits...especially when they have to be all religious and stuff >.>
well..im off to do some studyin for a test i just remembered like now that i have tomorw O_o thank goodness for my good memory xD
Loneliness sends a dark wind that doesn't leave. Remembering the excitement of love. The sky so red,the warmth so strong. Your face surfaces in my heart, living together in this city's maze, every mention of your name causes my heart to skip a beat, and yet we don't meet again. Only the touch remains. And yet we don't dare to touch emotionally. Perhaps we really were too young. From our cluelessness. Wandering our separate skies. Allowing each other to choose what to say, but this longing still turns. A hand that can't be held is now an anonymous friend. But my attachment is still persistent and you have nothing to do with the tears I swallow.
haha that has absolutely nothing to do with anything! =p jus thought maybe if i shared..it would get out of my head...if any of it even makes sense LOL
so anyways, im goin camping soon a.k.a tomorow! but i heard the weather isnt very good while the weather here is goin to be sunny all the way =/ the only reason why im excited is the people that are gonna be/goin there. other than that...its totally bull heh =p
so yesterday, i opened my email and saw that La Sierra sent me an email and when it opened it....BAAAMMM!! it tells me im accepted!! =) haha i called my mom right away and she was super happy for me. and now that im over in california..i can be closer to the friend i want to see most =) and of course...its CALIFORNIA, L.A...WHAT ISNT THERE TO BE EXCITED ABOUT!! haha the only thing is...ill be stuck dorming which kinda sucks cause i dont kno who my roommate would be since all the friends i kno are graduating this year or have already gradated =/ i hope i dont get some freak haha but i realy want to live with my friend who's quite close by..but shes goin to some art school and shes gonna rent an apartment so we could share..? i really hope the school board will let!!! haha i cannot be goin to school and sleepin there for 5-6 years all year round...i would die =p
so anyways, i got a project due tomorow and me and my partner dont have an idea yet on what we're doing...and we're plannin on meeting up at 9pm and who knows what time we'll be done. haha but thats the thing about my class...we always wing everything and end up doin okay or pretty good but never a fail LOL i jus hope he doesnt fall asleep or anything cause we're so doomed tomorw =/ i hate making up skits...especially when they have to be all religious and stuff >.>
well..im off to do some studyin for a test i just remembered like now that i have tomorw O_o thank goodness for my good memory xD
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
May.11/2010
im loving the weather lately!!! =) lets keep it up kay! haha but i see some clouds...so mr. clouds, you better disappear if you dont want to see me upset.....^_^
so today, we took our grad pictures..part 2 xD we wore a dress and a gown with a hat. the teachers werent happy at all tho...cause alot of us missed their classes jus to get ready and stuff but whatever. its jus one time...so stop hating!! haha. today was alot of fun i gotta admit..running around cause everyone wants me to do their hair and what not..thank god i brought my hair curler and straightner...some of those girls hair needs some real treatment O_o ever heard of conditioner!!? ....anyways, at the end, we took our group picture with the whole class and the principal so happened to be there and was telling all the girls to wear a sweater on top of our dresses. most of us were wearing either sphagetti straps or tube top dresses and it was "revealing too much"...like honestly, you're jus mad cause you cant wear something like that..you fatass bitch!! ......thats right...your rule is that if you cant wear it, then we cant either. well you know what...you're like 450pounds so obvs you cant wear nothing. you jealous ho! ugh seriously..
okay well none of us were happy...not even the guys..they were soo pissed for us and like WTF to the teachers. like really...how seductive can our shoulders be?!! ugh, anyways more update to come...but dinner calls me and i need to please my stomach or else it doesnt cooperate with me =p ta-ta~
so today, we took our grad pictures..part 2 xD we wore a dress and a gown with a hat. the teachers werent happy at all tho...cause alot of us missed their classes jus to get ready and stuff but whatever. its jus one time...so stop hating!! haha. today was alot of fun i gotta admit..running around cause everyone wants me to do their hair and what not..thank god i brought my hair curler and straightner...some of those girls hair needs some real treatment O_o ever heard of conditioner!!? ....anyways, at the end, we took our group picture with the whole class and the principal so happened to be there and was telling all the girls to wear a sweater on top of our dresses. most of us were wearing either sphagetti straps or tube top dresses and it was "revealing too much"...like honestly, you're jus mad cause you cant wear something like that..you fatass bitch!! ......thats right...your rule is that if you cant wear it, then we cant either. well you know what...you're like 450pounds so obvs you cant wear nothing. you jealous ho! ugh seriously..
okay well none of us were happy...not even the guys..they were soo pissed for us and like WTF to the teachers. like really...how seductive can our shoulders be?!! ugh, anyways more update to come...but dinner calls me and i need to please my stomach or else it doesnt cooperate with me =p ta-ta~
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
May.4/2010
i guess my day has been goin alright so far...way better than last night anyways >.> i really dont get what her problem is..mayb shes having a bad day so everything little thing jus seems to be gettin on her nerves..but why take it out on me..? ..i guess half of those little things relate to me..im a walking target!! =/
so anyways, the sun is out and trying to shine through the clouds..but mister wind wont seem to go away!! but other than the weather its been goin pretty good. i had a lunch date with a friend today and he made me laugh so much that i totally forgot all my worries...or alittle while anyway =p and then i had the best catching up time with my best cousin in the whole wide wooorld!! haha i love her so much..what will do i do next year when we're not in school together..T.T
i love coming to school everyday having someone sing to me and make songs about me jus randomly =) john..im gonna miss you next year..but mayb we'll end up in the same university!! haha except you'll be like 24..and ill be 18 =p anyways, grad is coming up and deadlines are arriving. i cant wait till the actual grad dates to come but im sooo excited for the following months!! i jus want school days to pass by faster so i can get to the fun part before the actual school begins in september =/
so anyways, the sun is out and trying to shine through the clouds..but mister wind wont seem to go away!! but other than the weather its been goin pretty good. i had a lunch date with a friend today and he made me laugh so much that i totally forgot all my worries...or alittle while anyway =p and then i had the best catching up time with my best cousin in the whole wide wooorld!! haha i love her so much..what will do i do next year when we're not in school together..T.T
i love coming to school everyday having someone sing to me and make songs about me jus randomly =) john..im gonna miss you next year..but mayb we'll end up in the same university!! haha except you'll be like 24..and ill be 18 =p anyways, grad is coming up and deadlines are arriving. i cant wait till the actual grad dates to come but im sooo excited for the following months!! i jus want school days to pass by faster so i can get to the fun part before the actual school begins in september =/
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