hello world,
i hate it when a song can bring back memories and incidents of the past that you may not necessarily want to remember or may want to put aside for a little while but then the song comes on and it brings it all back. for me, the song posted below is the best and worst song. i can't listen to it without feeling a little pain. when i had told my boyfriend at the time that i was coming home for good, he told me that this was the song that came to mind. of course, after listening to the lyrics that night, i just teared. there was still a month left before i was going home but at that time, it just made me realize that i would have to leave him...for good =/ he has a thing for technology so for our anniversaries, he makes memorable videos for me and it always leaves me with a smile, making me realize why i love him so much. until our last anniversary, our one year anniversary...he just had to add that song in at the end. to make it worse, the ending captions said "saying goodbye isn't the hardest part. it's what we leave behind that's tough. but remember, every goodbye makes the next hello closer". the song, the captions, pictures&videos of a whole year together just made me regret my decision to leave.
we had been through so much. in the beginning, it took me so long to trust and like him. he kept proving to me over and over again that he would always be there.i had finally decided to let my guard down and let him into my life. throughout the year, i can't count how many times he has helped me in situations where i'm stuck and/or in trouble. i cannot stress how much i've been a burden to him with the poor decisions ive made. and yet, he still loved me and dealt with me through it all. our relationship got shaky from summer break onward. being far away from each other for 4 months with a time difference is hard =/ we grew distant and when we started school again, it was not the same. nothing but arguments everyday. at the time, when i had decided to come home, i honestly couldn't wait to leave just so i could get away from all the arguing and the pain that came with it. but the day that i had to say goodbye, was the day i realized that leaving hurt more than all the fights we had. having to get in the car and leave him...it was a horrible day. i just didn't want to let go when i was hugging him goodbye. with tears running down my face, he kept telling me that it was going to be okay. the 2-hour drive to the airport wasn't any better. i tried so hard not to cry because it would've been alittle awkward with my friend and his roommate there. so i just kept tearing up quietly. it would've been easier if he didn't keep on calling me the whole ride there. i tried to ignore his calls because talking to him, hearing his voice would only make things worse. and when i finally decided to pick up his call, he had said that he just wanted to check and see how i was doing. of course, the tears came rolling down again. that day was just horrible all together. possibly the worst day of my life so far. i dont know what the point is from this post. i guess i just needed to get it all out after hearing that song. i definetly wish i could go back in time...but there's no such thing.
and if you ever read this, i just want to say that i'm sorry for the way i acted throughout the year that we were together that brought stress or added to your stress. i know that sometimes i over exaggerate on my feelings and act in a way that annoys you and i know often i drain the energy out of you but i just want to thank you for putting up with me and loving me through it all and not giving up on me. you taught me a lot when i was there and i am thankful that God put you in my life. so many times, i would get annoyed at you but i couldnt see that you were only trying to help me. i was always in the depressing mood because i was so tired of arguing with you that it made you not even want to be around me. the last 4-5 months of our relationship...i was so afraid to lose you that my actions eventually led that to happening. i think the saying goes..."i kicked myself in the butt". although leaving you and coming home was the hardest and most painful part, im glad that i got to have memories and experiences with you. i know we dont talk much nowadays but i hope we dont lose contact for good. i will always love you and i will always miss you. you will always have a place in my heart. i wish you the best in all that you do and remember to always put God first =)
it brings me to tears to write this post but its everything that i need to say and i just hope that one day, when i hear this song, instead of missing the good old times, i will smile from it.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
the one song i will never forget..
everytime i hear this song...it brings back mixed emotions/feelings =$
i'm proud to call them my friends =)
some of my friends from Southern who are musically talented! their newest music video and my number one favorite! miss you guys! =/ aka jonathan, adan, glendon, and ryan!
March.28/2012
hello world,
so after using this blogger website for so long...i am just realizing i can add pictures (-_______-) ...yeah, i feel stupid. haha so i guess ill be updating my blog more often than a few times a day! sometimes, pictures can explain more than words can.
oh and p.s, i will be stealing pictures from your tumblr. yes, you know who u are. i love all the pictures that are on ur tumblr..and i agree with a lot of them too! haha im glad we like the same things though...thats why we're friends! =)
so after using this blogger website for so long...i am just realizing i can add pictures (-_______-) ...yeah, i feel stupid. haha so i guess ill be updating my blog more often than a few times a day! sometimes, pictures can explain more than words can.
oh and p.s, i will be stealing pictures from your tumblr. yes, you know who u are. i love all the pictures that are on ur tumblr..and i agree with a lot of them too! haha im glad we like the same things though...thats why we're friends! =)
March.28/2012
hello world,
remember my post from last night? well..i woke up this morning to the radio and this song came on by katy perry. idk why but the lyrics just stood out to me. here it is!
days like this i want to drive away. pack my bags and watch your shadow fade. you chewed me up and spit me out like i was poison in your mouth. but that was then and this is now. this is the part of me that you're never gonna take away. you're not gonna break my soul. you ripped me off, your love was cheap. always tearing at the seams. i fell deep, you let me down but that was then and this is now. you can keep the diamond ring, it dont mean nothing anyway. in fact, you can keep everything except for me.
remember my post from last night? well..i woke up this morning to the radio and this song came on by katy perry. idk why but the lyrics just stood out to me. here it is!
days like this i want to drive away. pack my bags and watch your shadow fade. you chewed me up and spit me out like i was poison in your mouth. but that was then and this is now. this is the part of me that you're never gonna take away. you're not gonna break my soul. you ripped me off, your love was cheap. always tearing at the seams. i fell deep, you let me down but that was then and this is now. you can keep the diamond ring, it dont mean nothing anyway. in fact, you can keep everything except for me.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
March.27/2012
hello world,
do you ever have those days where you feel a certain way but theres no particular reason why you're feeling that way or sometimes you can't really explain what you're feeling but certain songs explain it all? ..(i hope that wasn't too confusing to read lol) well, im having one of those days =$ so instead of trying explain my feeling and confusing you all, ill just share the lyrics of some songs and hopefully you'll get a better understanding =)
song #1: if you ask me how i'm doing, i will say im doing just fine. i would lie and say that you're not on my mind. but finally, im forced to face the truth: no matter what i say, im not over you.
song #2: i wanna run but i dont know where, i wanna fly but i dont know how.
song #3: i wont give up on us, even if the skies get rough. im giving you all my love, im still looking up. even the stars they burn. some even fall to the earth. we got a lot to learn and God knows we're worth it. i wont give up.
song #4: something always brings me back to you, it never takes too long. no matter what i say or do, i still feel you here till the moment im gone. i never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love. set me free, leave me be. i dont wanna fall another moment into your gravity. here i am and i stand so tall just the way i'm suppose to be. you loved me cause im fragile but i thought that i was strong. you're neither friend nor foe but i cant seem to let you go.
song #5: i was just a fool, a fool for you. when i loved you so childlessly and i want it all back. i didnt know what i had until i lost you.
song#6: i dont believe we were put together not to be together. and i dont believe there's anyone out there that can love me better. of course we've had our ups and downs but ive gotta have you around me. you're the one for me.
song #7: now im standing with you in this terminal with a ticket so far from your love. i gotta fly away. planes waiting up for me right at gate 23. theres a doorway to my dreams i could go or i could stay. should i change my life or miss my flight. i dont want to win if my hearts got to lose so how in the world do i choose? how can i leave when i know he's the one?
song #8: how do i say goodbye to what we had. the good times that made us laugh. i thought we get to see forever but forever is gone away. its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. i dont know where this road is going to lead. all i know is where we've been and what we've been through. if we get to see tomorrow i hope its worth all the wait. and ill take with me the memories to be my sunshine after the rain.
song #9: it feels like a lifetime has passed me by. its been 17minutes since my life started over without you. and my pride tries to lie but my heart's too empty without you. dont want the world, just want the love that i had 18minutes ago. i keep pretending this is all a bad dream.
song #10: it hurts so much inside, i dont know how you controlled my mind cause you brainwashed me. you had me thinking we would last forever. i gave my whole life to you.
song #11: i was thinking about you and it kinda made me smile. so many things to say, better put it in a letter. so many things i wanna know the answers to. wish i could press rewind and rewrite every line to the story of me and you. hope to hear from you soon. p.s still not over you.
song #12: i know you the right one but maybe we just met at the wrong time. its just kind of funny that you had me feeling nothing could go wrong but its no fun when you're the one the jokes on. its been way too long and im not that strong. i cant do it. i see it in your eyes that you're not by my side.
song #13: anywhere you are i am near, anywhere you go i am there. what are words if you really dont mean them when you say them.
song #14: baby you're a million miles away. if i aint got you i aint got anything. it just dont feel the same if i aint got you.
song #15: i cant have what i wanted. love was surely made for fools like me.
song #16: i feel your happiness all around. we're not the same, everybody knows. thats the best thing about us though. we see the world in different ways. maybe this could be more than just fun. this could be everything that i want. whats happening to me, could you be the one. it feels like love to me. you're the one i need next to me. real love's not suppose to be afraid of what everybody thinks.
okay well anyways...i think thats more than enough haha
do you ever have those days where you feel a certain way but theres no particular reason why you're feeling that way or sometimes you can't really explain what you're feeling but certain songs explain it all? ..(i hope that wasn't too confusing to read lol) well, im having one of those days =$ so instead of trying explain my feeling and confusing you all, ill just share the lyrics of some songs and hopefully you'll get a better understanding =)
song #1: if you ask me how i'm doing, i will say im doing just fine. i would lie and say that you're not on my mind. but finally, im forced to face the truth: no matter what i say, im not over you.
song #2: i wanna run but i dont know where, i wanna fly but i dont know how.
song #3: i wont give up on us, even if the skies get rough. im giving you all my love, im still looking up. even the stars they burn. some even fall to the earth. we got a lot to learn and God knows we're worth it. i wont give up.
song #4: something always brings me back to you, it never takes too long. no matter what i say or do, i still feel you here till the moment im gone. i never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love. set me free, leave me be. i dont wanna fall another moment into your gravity. here i am and i stand so tall just the way i'm suppose to be. you loved me cause im fragile but i thought that i was strong. you're neither friend nor foe but i cant seem to let you go.
song #5: i was just a fool, a fool for you. when i loved you so childlessly and i want it all back. i didnt know what i had until i lost you.
song#6: i dont believe we were put together not to be together. and i dont believe there's anyone out there that can love me better. of course we've had our ups and downs but ive gotta have you around me. you're the one for me.
song #7: now im standing with you in this terminal with a ticket so far from your love. i gotta fly away. planes waiting up for me right at gate 23. theres a doorway to my dreams i could go or i could stay. should i change my life or miss my flight. i dont want to win if my hearts got to lose so how in the world do i choose? how can i leave when i know he's the one?
song #8: how do i say goodbye to what we had. the good times that made us laugh. i thought we get to see forever but forever is gone away. its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. i dont know where this road is going to lead. all i know is where we've been and what we've been through. if we get to see tomorrow i hope its worth all the wait. and ill take with me the memories to be my sunshine after the rain.
song #9: it feels like a lifetime has passed me by. its been 17minutes since my life started over without you. and my pride tries to lie but my heart's too empty without you. dont want the world, just want the love that i had 18minutes ago. i keep pretending this is all a bad dream.
song #10: it hurts so much inside, i dont know how you controlled my mind cause you brainwashed me. you had me thinking we would last forever. i gave my whole life to you.
song #11: i was thinking about you and it kinda made me smile. so many things to say, better put it in a letter. so many things i wanna know the answers to. wish i could press rewind and rewrite every line to the story of me and you. hope to hear from you soon. p.s still not over you.
song #12: i know you the right one but maybe we just met at the wrong time. its just kind of funny that you had me feeling nothing could go wrong but its no fun when you're the one the jokes on. its been way too long and im not that strong. i cant do it. i see it in your eyes that you're not by my side.
song #13: anywhere you are i am near, anywhere you go i am there. what are words if you really dont mean them when you say them.
song #14: baby you're a million miles away. if i aint got you i aint got anything. it just dont feel the same if i aint got you.
song #15: i cant have what i wanted. love was surely made for fools like me.
song #16: i feel your happiness all around. we're not the same, everybody knows. thats the best thing about us though. we see the world in different ways. maybe this could be more than just fun. this could be everything that i want. whats happening to me, could you be the one. it feels like love to me. you're the one i need next to me. real love's not suppose to be afraid of what everybody thinks.
okay well anyways...i think thats more than enough haha
Monday, March 26, 2012
March.26/2012
hello world,
i thought i had a pretty fun weekend after saturday...going to the beach and all until last night!! okay...it was no big deal...just one of my best friends 19th birthday!! hahaha if she was reading this, she'd freak but nah, im playing. she just turned 20 yesterday =) HAPPY BIRTHDAY MERCEDES!! <3 so since she technically turned 19 yesterday...(long story) we went out for her first "legal" drink! my friend came to pick me up and we headed to her house to pick her up and head to a pub nearby. let me tell you, DONT EVER GO TO THAT PUB!!! its this place in port coquitlam called Cats & Fiddle...the pub itself was okay but they had karaoke going on....lets just say the people singing...hurt my ears =/ they were horrible but funny at the same time =p so when i say my friend can drink....let me tell you....MY FRIEND CAN DRINK. shes not a regular drinker and she doesnt drink much so it was her first time having shots and jaeger bombs and a bellini. if that was my first time having all that, i would be all over the place, going crazy! she was totally normal after all those drinks and she took them like a BOSS =0! usually people make funny faces after taking a shot....she just drank it like it was water. like my other friend says, shes got some kind of magic in her xD but it was a fun night =) was hoping i didnt have to work today but they called me in this morning =/ but i survived! haha even with a minor headache. probably not from last night but just my random headaches.
i thought i had a pretty fun weekend after saturday...going to the beach and all until last night!! okay...it was no big deal...just one of my best friends 19th birthday!! hahaha if she was reading this, she'd freak but nah, im playing. she just turned 20 yesterday =) HAPPY BIRTHDAY MERCEDES!! <3 so since she technically turned 19 yesterday...(long story) we went out for her first "legal" drink! my friend came to pick me up and we headed to her house to pick her up and head to a pub nearby. let me tell you, DONT EVER GO TO THAT PUB!!! its this place in port coquitlam called Cats & Fiddle...the pub itself was okay but they had karaoke going on....lets just say the people singing...hurt my ears =/ they were horrible but funny at the same time =p so when i say my friend can drink....let me tell you....MY FRIEND CAN DRINK. shes not a regular drinker and she doesnt drink much so it was her first time having shots and jaeger bombs and a bellini. if that was my first time having all that, i would be all over the place, going crazy! she was totally normal after all those drinks and she took them like a BOSS =0! usually people make funny faces after taking a shot....she just drank it like it was water. like my other friend says, shes got some kind of magic in her xD but it was a fun night =) was hoping i didnt have to work today but they called me in this morning =/ but i survived! haha even with a minor headache. probably not from last night but just my random headaches.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
March.25/2012
hello world,
so today was a pretty fun day! oh...before i continue, i know i put march.25...cause its like 1:44AM but everything im talking about in this post is actually from yesterday...the 24th. im still calling yesterday today...so bare with me =p so today was fun =) didnt do much but spending time with people is always my thing whether we be busy doing something or doing nothing at all lol i went to church in the morning, and it was just dead. there werent many people there because some had gone on vacation so it was alittle empty. so after church, i headed to a university to take a test i found out i actually did not need to take but since i paid for it and its non-refundable, i thought i might as well take it just to see what kind of score i would get. it was amazingly easy so i finished everything just alittle over an hour. so i met up with my parents and some relatives after and then headed home to change. did i mention it was a beautiful sunny day? yupp! mister sunshine had decided to finally come out and play! =) so i met up with some friends downtown and we headed to the beach for alittle while and saw the sunset for a bit. since it was getting windy, we just decided to drive around stanley park and park right in front of a beautiful view to just sit and relax for awhile. im not really a big ...whats the word...scenery person? but that moment, just sittin in the car, facing the ocean and mountains, with some sun shining through...well, it was pretty amazing. so we finally decide to leave to watch a movie after the sun had set. usually, i dont let guys pick the movie cause they'll always end up picking some not-so-funny-lame type of movie..and i was with 3 other guys who can be into the lamest movies of all time (-_-) but i had heard that it was a good movie so i thought id give it a try. and what do u know? it was AMAZING!! haha i watched project x....it ....basically, words cant even explain how i feel about that movie and how good it was. ANND its based on a true story! haha but all in all, it was a pretty chill day for me =)
so today was a pretty fun day! oh...before i continue, i know i put march.25...cause its like 1:44AM but everything im talking about in this post is actually from yesterday...the 24th. im still calling yesterday today...so bare with me =p so today was fun =) didnt do much but spending time with people is always my thing whether we be busy doing something or doing nothing at all lol i went to church in the morning, and it was just dead. there werent many people there because some had gone on vacation so it was alittle empty. so after church, i headed to a university to take a test i found out i actually did not need to take but since i paid for it and its non-refundable, i thought i might as well take it just to see what kind of score i would get. it was amazingly easy so i finished everything just alittle over an hour. so i met up with my parents and some relatives after and then headed home to change. did i mention it was a beautiful sunny day? yupp! mister sunshine had decided to finally come out and play! =) so i met up with some friends downtown and we headed to the beach for alittle while and saw the sunset for a bit. since it was getting windy, we just decided to drive around stanley park and park right in front of a beautiful view to just sit and relax for awhile. im not really a big ...whats the word...scenery person? but that moment, just sittin in the car, facing the ocean and mountains, with some sun shining through...well, it was pretty amazing. so we finally decide to leave to watch a movie after the sun had set. usually, i dont let guys pick the movie cause they'll always end up picking some not-so-funny-lame type of movie..and i was with 3 other guys who can be into the lamest movies of all time (-_-) but i had heard that it was a good movie so i thought id give it a try. and what do u know? it was AMAZING!! haha i watched project x....it ....basically, words cant even explain how i feel about that movie and how good it was. ANND its based on a true story! haha but all in all, it was a pretty chill day for me =)
Friday, March 23, 2012
March.23/2012
hello world,
so lately, ive been feeling...strange. i guess my feelings have been up and down. its like im riding this roller coaster but i wanna get off. i guess i feel ...sad? especially this weekend. there's an event at Southern called Asian weekend. so the asian club plans a vespers for friday, then they have a church program for sabbath morning followed by a night program which has difference asian cultures dances, food, and people dress up and just have fun! its the biggest event of the whole school year. i guess i just really wanted to be a part of it..or at least get to attend it. i know i dont miss much of the events going on at Southern since a lot of people post videos and pictures. but idk...im starting to miss it there more and more even though im loving life back home. its just different. a lot of memories were made there and i learned a lot from being there...it was just great! =/
there are certain items you keep for memories and you never throw them away. eg. cards, letters, pictures, etc. i dont like to keep a lot of stuff that people give me that'll remind me of the bad times. but i was going through my wallet and cleaning it out(throwing away old receipts/gift cards) and i found a folded piece of napkin from a restaurant. the restaurant and what was written inside the napkin marked a very special day that use to and still somewhat means a lot to me. it was written from my ex. it was the night he asked me out at a fancy restaurant. reading what he wrote to me just brought back so much ...even brought me to tears. it just made me realize that i couldve been a much better girlfriend. it just really got me thinking. how many times, are we in situations where we regret what we did or what had happened and wish we could turn back time. by the time we wish we could go back, its already too late. im not trying to sound depressing or something but i just feel like there are a lot of times, in certain situations, we should step out of our shoes and look at the bigger picture. maybe look at the situation in the other person's point of view. im realizing that i dont want to live life always wishing i could go back and change things.
so lately, ive been feeling...strange. i guess my feelings have been up and down. its like im riding this roller coaster but i wanna get off. i guess i feel ...sad? especially this weekend. there's an event at Southern called Asian weekend. so the asian club plans a vespers for friday, then they have a church program for sabbath morning followed by a night program which has difference asian cultures dances, food, and people dress up and just have fun! its the biggest event of the whole school year. i guess i just really wanted to be a part of it..or at least get to attend it. i know i dont miss much of the events going on at Southern since a lot of people post videos and pictures. but idk...im starting to miss it there more and more even though im loving life back home. its just different. a lot of memories were made there and i learned a lot from being there...it was just great! =/
there are certain items you keep for memories and you never throw them away. eg. cards, letters, pictures, etc. i dont like to keep a lot of stuff that people give me that'll remind me of the bad times. but i was going through my wallet and cleaning it out(throwing away old receipts/gift cards) and i found a folded piece of napkin from a restaurant. the restaurant and what was written inside the napkin marked a very special day that use to and still somewhat means a lot to me. it was written from my ex. it was the night he asked me out at a fancy restaurant. reading what he wrote to me just brought back so much ...even brought me to tears. it just made me realize that i couldve been a much better girlfriend. it just really got me thinking. how many times, are we in situations where we regret what we did or what had happened and wish we could turn back time. by the time we wish we could go back, its already too late. im not trying to sound depressing or something but i just feel like there are a lot of times, in certain situations, we should step out of our shoes and look at the bigger picture. maybe look at the situation in the other person's point of view. im realizing that i dont want to live life always wishing i could go back and change things.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
March.20/2012
hello world,
ive been so lazy to update my blog but i think its about that time again! =)
i guess there hasnt been much going on lately. just life! sometimes, i feel like i want to move out but at times, i dont even feel like im living in my own home. i barely see my parents. i usually work weekdays and sometimes i come home late if im scheduled to work till closing. then on weekends, my parents are ALWAYS out. there isn't one weekend where they'll be home just chillen and relaxing. theyre either at some dinner party, or out of town to the states, or just simply with other people. so when do i get to spend time with them? basically never. maybe a few hi's every now and then. sometimes i wish they weren't so social...=$
so ive cancelled my cruise to the bahamas on the first week of april because my mama is getting sick so we're gonna go the L.A instead. so all my L.A friends, holla! haha but im excited to just get away for alittle while. im just having troubles which resort to stay in. i want a really nice one but theyre all far from the main places we're going =/ and then a couple weeks later, im gonna go on a roadtrip with my cousins to calgary and pick up my other cousin from school...some more fun there! i just want summer to come soon!
ive been so lazy to update my blog but i think its about that time again! =)
i guess there hasnt been much going on lately. just life! sometimes, i feel like i want to move out but at times, i dont even feel like im living in my own home. i barely see my parents. i usually work weekdays and sometimes i come home late if im scheduled to work till closing. then on weekends, my parents are ALWAYS out. there isn't one weekend where they'll be home just chillen and relaxing. theyre either at some dinner party, or out of town to the states, or just simply with other people. so when do i get to spend time with them? basically never. maybe a few hi's every now and then. sometimes i wish they weren't so social...=$
so ive cancelled my cruise to the bahamas on the first week of april because my mama is getting sick so we're gonna go the L.A instead. so all my L.A friends, holla! haha but im excited to just get away for alittle while. im just having troubles which resort to stay in. i want a really nice one but theyre all far from the main places we're going =/ and then a couple weeks later, im gonna go on a roadtrip with my cousins to calgary and pick up my other cousin from school...some more fun there! i just want summer to come soon!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
March.13/2012
hello world,
today's weather has been so strange and bipolar! at first, it was a little cloudy, and then it starts snowing, and then comes rain, then snow again, and finally sunshine! i think i should always keep a small umbrella in my purse cause you never know what it'll be =$
so today, i had a day off and decided that i was going to sleep in...that did NOT end up happening =/ out of nowhere around 9 my friend calls me asking to hang out and next thing u know, he's standing right in front of me dragging me out of bed to go and have breakfast with him...(-_-) i have this habit of showering before i leave the house but he wouldn't let me so i ended up putting my hair back, threw on some sweats and left with no make up on. honestly, i would never do that...i wouldnt even let people see what i look like when im still in bed...not because of some self-esteem issue or whatever but i just never show anyone unless its someone im comfortable with or close with. so anyways, i dont know why but it just didn't seem like a problem for him to see my bed hair or me with no make up on ...and thats the best part! to have friends who you can be so comfortable around and be yourself is the best type of friends you could ask for.
it's finally time to sign up for Zumba classes!! ive been waiting for almost 2 months for registration which started at midnight today. yes...i was trying to stay awake till midnight just so i can reserve some spots for the class cause they go by quick! time to get in shape but have fun dancing at the same time =) annd! im going to start playing badminton with my cousin on wednesday so...more exercise for mee! =)
today's weather has been so strange and bipolar! at first, it was a little cloudy, and then it starts snowing, and then comes rain, then snow again, and finally sunshine! i think i should always keep a small umbrella in my purse cause you never know what it'll be =$
so today, i had a day off and decided that i was going to sleep in...that did NOT end up happening =/ out of nowhere around 9 my friend calls me asking to hang out and next thing u know, he's standing right in front of me dragging me out of bed to go and have breakfast with him...(-_-) i have this habit of showering before i leave the house but he wouldn't let me so i ended up putting my hair back, threw on some sweats and left with no make up on. honestly, i would never do that...i wouldnt even let people see what i look like when im still in bed...not because of some self-esteem issue or whatever but i just never show anyone unless its someone im comfortable with or close with. so anyways, i dont know why but it just didn't seem like a problem for him to see my bed hair or me with no make up on ...and thats the best part! to have friends who you can be so comfortable around and be yourself is the best type of friends you could ask for.
it's finally time to sign up for Zumba classes!! ive been waiting for almost 2 months for registration which started at midnight today. yes...i was trying to stay awake till midnight just so i can reserve some spots for the class cause they go by quick! time to get in shape but have fun dancing at the same time =) annd! im going to start playing badminton with my cousin on wednesday so...more exercise for mee! =)
Sunday, March 11, 2012
March.11/2012
hello world,
haven't posted for a few days so I thought I'd keep you updated on whats been going on =) well actually..there hasn't been much going on hahaha just work and chillen. i got to spend pretty much all day with my cousin the other day. we went to her house to change, then to the mall, then to my house, and then back to her house. and all that in the rain! haha it was horrible weather =/ and last night, i went to celebrate my friends birthday at the club..(i think i mentioned in the previous post..) and it was a disaster! a couple of my friends were doing all the planning and they told people to be at the club around 1030ish ...which most of them were. all the "guests" were there on time and the rest of us were an hour and a half late (-_-) i was over at my cousins house getting ready because 3 of my friends were just across the street so i was waiting to go with them but when they told me to get ready by 10, they weren't even close. apparently, they were all waiting for the birthday girl and she was an hr late. so clearly, the people at the club were getting impatient and so were we. so long story short, we go and pick her up at her house...(yeah, she hasn't left yet...) and head to the club but my friend was super upset with her so we almost got into a car accident BUT if we did, it wouldn't have been our fault because that car decided to come out from the alley right in front of us causing us to slam on the brakes and nearly hit them. but anyways, we finally reach the club and of course, since we're so late, its packed with a LOONG line. we finally get in and it was just over crowded...>=l basically, it was not a good night for anyone..at all. i mean i honestly feel bad for the birthday girl, but also for the ones who planned the whole thing.
i came home around 5 this morning and my mama comes in my room to see if i want to eat...im like mama...its 5 in the morning...i think i just want my bed! lol i swear she was sleep talking or something. and then this morning, she keeps coming into my room to wake me up. like really now?? i kinda just went to bed....its too early for your nagging and all that. so im not in the best of moods today...abit grumpy with some moodyness mixed with crankiness....
but besides all that, im going to the bahamas in the first week of april! i wish it wasn't a cruise so i can just go to the bahamas for a whole week...being on a cruise always takes longer =/ but nonetheless, im excited! this is going to be a good month....its actually going to be pretty good the next couple months! a couple spring break parties next week, cruise to the bahamas in the first week of april, road trip to edmonton/calgary the third week of april..plus my cousin is coming back home..FOR GOOD =), my friend from Southern is suppose to be coming with his friend in a couple weeks to visit, my bestie is coming to visit me in july...im excited for what's ahead!
im also changing alot of things in my life. getting braces, getting new juicy couture glasses, and renovating my room! im gonna rearrange a whole lot in my room and put some paintings/posters up. also thinking about getting some little paper laterns to hang in my room....im changing it all!
haven't posted for a few days so I thought I'd keep you updated on whats been going on =) well actually..there hasn't been much going on hahaha just work and chillen. i got to spend pretty much all day with my cousin the other day. we went to her house to change, then to the mall, then to my house, and then back to her house. and all that in the rain! haha it was horrible weather =/ and last night, i went to celebrate my friends birthday at the club..(i think i mentioned in the previous post..) and it was a disaster! a couple of my friends were doing all the planning and they told people to be at the club around 1030ish ...which most of them were. all the "guests" were there on time and the rest of us were an hour and a half late (-_-) i was over at my cousins house getting ready because 3 of my friends were just across the street so i was waiting to go with them but when they told me to get ready by 10, they weren't even close. apparently, they were all waiting for the birthday girl and she was an hr late. so clearly, the people at the club were getting impatient and so were we. so long story short, we go and pick her up at her house...(yeah, she hasn't left yet...) and head to the club but my friend was super upset with her so we almost got into a car accident BUT if we did, it wouldn't have been our fault because that car decided to come out from the alley right in front of us causing us to slam on the brakes and nearly hit them. but anyways, we finally reach the club and of course, since we're so late, its packed with a LOONG line. we finally get in and it was just over crowded...>=l basically, it was not a good night for anyone..at all. i mean i honestly feel bad for the birthday girl, but also for the ones who planned the whole thing.
i came home around 5 this morning and my mama comes in my room to see if i want to eat...im like mama...its 5 in the morning...i think i just want my bed! lol i swear she was sleep talking or something. and then this morning, she keeps coming into my room to wake me up. like really now?? i kinda just went to bed....its too early for your nagging and all that. so im not in the best of moods today...abit grumpy with some moodyness mixed with crankiness....
but besides all that, im going to the bahamas in the first week of april! i wish it wasn't a cruise so i can just go to the bahamas for a whole week...being on a cruise always takes longer =/ but nonetheless, im excited! this is going to be a good month....its actually going to be pretty good the next couple months! a couple spring break parties next week, cruise to the bahamas in the first week of april, road trip to edmonton/calgary the third week of april..plus my cousin is coming back home..FOR GOOD =), my friend from Southern is suppose to be coming with his friend in a couple weeks to visit, my bestie is coming to visit me in july...im excited for what's ahead!
im also changing alot of things in my life. getting braces, getting new juicy couture glasses, and renovating my room! im gonna rearrange a whole lot in my room and put some paintings/posters up. also thinking about getting some little paper laterns to hang in my room....im changing it all!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
March.7/2012
hello world,
i almost forgot to tell you guys! i was tryna help cook in the kitchen today and i burnt myself...twice. once on each side of my hand...and then i tried cutting vegetables and i end up cutting myself...am i really not cut out to be in the kitchen? is it cause i was never allowed in the kitchen/i always had chefs to cook for me? this sucks! i actually like cooking whenever i can. and im trying to learn as much as i can so im not just some spoiled girl who knows nothing and has everyone doing things for me. i'm just tired of not knowing anything =/
i almost forgot to tell you guys! i was tryna help cook in the kitchen today and i burnt myself...twice. once on each side of my hand...and then i tried cutting vegetables and i end up cutting myself...am i really not cut out to be in the kitchen? is it cause i was never allowed in the kitchen/i always had chefs to cook for me? this sucks! i actually like cooking whenever i can. and im trying to learn as much as i can so im not just some spoiled girl who knows nothing and has everyone doing things for me. i'm just tired of not knowing anything =/
March.7/2012
hello world,
been up since 630 this morning to go to the ceremony for my mother becoming a canadian citizen. it took way longer than i had expected. was suppose to start around 8ish but there was 83 people who was doing the same thing so it stalled time =/ it eventually ended around 1030 (-__-) i think the judge just took too long on her speech because i saw some people falling asleep lol
so when it was finally over, i went over to my friends house to hang out since i hadn't seen him in awhile and we pretty much did nothing hahaha as usual but we still have fun just chillen. my friend is having a birthday party this weekend and we're going clubbing which i dont mind but i just wish they would pick a different club. we just went to that one a few weeks back but since it's for my friends birthday, i shouldn't say too much. and have fun nonetheless!
so i thought i had finally gotten over something that i've been holding onto for a very long time...or something that has been holding onto me for a long time. and i thought i was finally "free" until something else came up to take over me. i just dont understand. can life give me a break? give my heart a break? give my emotions and feelings a break? i was barely strong enough and barely made it through this past event and now, life throws me another. this time, a whole lot deeper and a whole lot closer to the heart ...wish me luck!
been up since 630 this morning to go to the ceremony for my mother becoming a canadian citizen. it took way longer than i had expected. was suppose to start around 8ish but there was 83 people who was doing the same thing so it stalled time =/ it eventually ended around 1030 (-__-) i think the judge just took too long on her speech because i saw some people falling asleep lol
so when it was finally over, i went over to my friends house to hang out since i hadn't seen him in awhile and we pretty much did nothing hahaha as usual but we still have fun just chillen. my friend is having a birthday party this weekend and we're going clubbing which i dont mind but i just wish they would pick a different club. we just went to that one a few weeks back but since it's for my friends birthday, i shouldn't say too much. and have fun nonetheless!
so i thought i had finally gotten over something that i've been holding onto for a very long time...or something that has been holding onto me for a long time. and i thought i was finally "free" until something else came up to take over me. i just dont understand. can life give me a break? give my heart a break? give my emotions and feelings a break? i was barely strong enough and barely made it through this past event and now, life throws me another. this time, a whole lot deeper and a whole lot closer to the heart ...wish me luck!
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
March.6/2012
hello world,
i dont believe i've told you but my mother loves doing these side jobs. she works in a dental office and finds it boring so she finds a little side job for the weekend to make things more "interesting". her previous job was at the airport doing some currency exchange. and now, she's interested in a RCMP job!! for those who know or have met my mother..you would know that she is NOT police material...(-__-) but she's going to take their aptitude test and if she passes that, then they'll do some other test. i mean, if shes really interested, im here to support her but the only down side...there's a high chance she'll relocate and that's not exactly ideal but we'll see if she even passes the first test =p
today has been such a slow/lazy day for me. didn't do much other than work but even that was boring. i did a short little work out today and some other errands but today has been one of those procrastinated days =/ on another note, my mama is officially becoming a canadian citizen tomorrow! she took the test couple months ago and passed so theyre having a ceremony for all those who passed recently in the court house =) its funny because she's giving up her european citizenship to become a canadian one...and yet, i just got my european one! =)
i dont believe i've told you but my mother loves doing these side jobs. she works in a dental office and finds it boring so she finds a little side job for the weekend to make things more "interesting". her previous job was at the airport doing some currency exchange. and now, she's interested in a RCMP job!! for those who know or have met my mother..you would know that she is NOT police material...(-__-) but she's going to take their aptitude test and if she passes that, then they'll do some other test. i mean, if shes really interested, im here to support her but the only down side...there's a high chance she'll relocate and that's not exactly ideal but we'll see if she even passes the first test =p
today has been such a slow/lazy day for me. didn't do much other than work but even that was boring. i did a short little work out today and some other errands but today has been one of those procrastinated days =/ on another note, my mama is officially becoming a canadian citizen tomorrow! she took the test couple months ago and passed so theyre having a ceremony for all those who passed recently in the court house =) its funny because she's giving up her european citizenship to become a canadian one...and yet, i just got my european one! =)
Monday, March 5, 2012
March.5/2012
hello world,
so remember when i said i wanted to look more mature/older? well...that isnt happening anytime soon =/ ive decided to finally get braces and that'll only make me look more like a kid!! but if i dont get it now, ill maybe end up getting it when im in my 20s and maybe that'll be worse so better now than later! so yes...im about to be braceface! hahaha i always made fun of my friends when they had braces but i guess it's getting to me =/ my teeth arent like SUPER crooked but if u examine closely, you can tell lol so i'd like it to finally be straight =) annd! i have this jaw problem called TMJ so my orthodontist thinks getting my braces will help with that *crosses fingers*
so remember when i said i wanted to look more mature/older? well...that isnt happening anytime soon =/ ive decided to finally get braces and that'll only make me look more like a kid!! but if i dont get it now, ill maybe end up getting it when im in my 20s and maybe that'll be worse so better now than later! so yes...im about to be braceface! hahaha i always made fun of my friends when they had braces but i guess it's getting to me =/ my teeth arent like SUPER crooked but if u examine closely, you can tell lol so i'd like it to finally be straight =) annd! i have this jaw problem called TMJ so my orthodontist thinks getting my braces will help with that *crosses fingers*
March.5/2012
hello world,
work can be so boring when there aren't a lot of customers. i had to work till closing today and time just went by so slow. luckily, it picked up at the end and my manager gave me more stuff to do to kill time. just when we were about to close, two cantonese speaking couple comes in and is interested in our dining chairs. they kept stalling time and wouldn't make up their mind on whether they wanted the chairs or not. i was pressured to hurry them out of the store if they weren't interested in buying but i did not want to be rude and ask them to leave. so finally, after about 15mins past closing time, they decide on buying 4 chairs which came up to $1575! so i guess it was worth the delay =)
sometimes, there are events we try to forget and people we try to forget. by not thinking about that person or event, you eventually find other things to fill their spot...and you think you're doing great until something comes up or something happens and all the memories come flowing back to you. and it makes it difficult again to try and forget! changes happen as time passes by but sometimes, i wish as time passed by, it was going backwards into time so i could redo all the mistakes. maybe then, it'll be a better and happier ending...?
work can be so boring when there aren't a lot of customers. i had to work till closing today and time just went by so slow. luckily, it picked up at the end and my manager gave me more stuff to do to kill time. just when we were about to close, two cantonese speaking couple comes in and is interested in our dining chairs. they kept stalling time and wouldn't make up their mind on whether they wanted the chairs or not. i was pressured to hurry them out of the store if they weren't interested in buying but i did not want to be rude and ask them to leave. so finally, after about 15mins past closing time, they decide on buying 4 chairs which came up to $1575! so i guess it was worth the delay =)
sometimes, there are events we try to forget and people we try to forget. by not thinking about that person or event, you eventually find other things to fill their spot...and you think you're doing great until something comes up or something happens and all the memories come flowing back to you. and it makes it difficult again to try and forget! changes happen as time passes by but sometimes, i wish as time passed by, it was going backwards into time so i could redo all the mistakes. maybe then, it'll be a better and happier ending...?
Sunday, March 4, 2012
March.4/2012
hello world,
today has been such an exhausting day! i started work at 11am till 5pm and then again at 6pm till 830pm. i actually wouldn't mind working long hours if the store was busy but this new location that i'm working in is quiet. we always make our goal because the few people who come in always buy hundreds of dollars worth of stuff but its super quiet and it makes the day go by so s-l-o-w.
i learned a few things today: one, never share things you have been told or things you know with others unless necessary. you don't know who you can trust out there...even if you think they're you're closest friend. second, never assume things you hear or see. always go straight to the person or source and find out what's really going on because assuming will only make things worse.
sometimes i wonder if there is anyone out there who is genuine and real. i feel like even the closest people can be a little fake sometimes. i'm not saying im perfect because i know i can act like i'm okay with someone when i'm upset at them for something else. i just wish that people would know that if i'm real with them, i hope for the same in return.
lately, i feel like i need a change. i wouldn't say im fat but im not exactly skinny. i guess im average? i just feel like i want to lose some weight...not to be anorexic or anything. in fact, i dont even need to lose weight. if i could just lose some inches on my thighs and waist then i'd be happy =)but first off, i KNOW i need to go to the gym more often. sometimes i work late so i cant go with my mama to the gym so i go maybe twice a week. but i've set a goal for myself. for the days im not working, or im not working too late, i will still go...even by myself! i want to atleast be able to fit into a size 1 or 0 and right now, i'm a size 3. which im not super unhappy about because i use to be a size 5 or even 7! i just need to start eating right ...(im just snacking too much) and exercising more. so hopefully, i will reach my goal. thing is though, my upper body is thinner than my lower body...if that makes sense. i could fit into an xs or s in shirts but i can't fit into a 0 or 1 in pants (-__-) annd, i feel like i need to change my wardrobe around. i love the clothes i have but i feel like most of them make me look like im still in highschool. when i meet random people, they still think im in highschool...i want to dress...i guess more mature and look like im in my 20s. i know it's not only about dressing the part but i dont want people to look at me and say oh she looks about 16 or 17...i'm 19 and i know that's only 2 or 3 years difference but still...i dont like to be called a highschooler...
today has been such an exhausting day! i started work at 11am till 5pm and then again at 6pm till 830pm. i actually wouldn't mind working long hours if the store was busy but this new location that i'm working in is quiet. we always make our goal because the few people who come in always buy hundreds of dollars worth of stuff but its super quiet and it makes the day go by so s-l-o-w.
i learned a few things today: one, never share things you have been told or things you know with others unless necessary. you don't know who you can trust out there...even if you think they're you're closest friend. second, never assume things you hear or see. always go straight to the person or source and find out what's really going on because assuming will only make things worse.
sometimes i wonder if there is anyone out there who is genuine and real. i feel like even the closest people can be a little fake sometimes. i'm not saying im perfect because i know i can act like i'm okay with someone when i'm upset at them for something else. i just wish that people would know that if i'm real with them, i hope for the same in return.
lately, i feel like i need a change. i wouldn't say im fat but im not exactly skinny. i guess im average? i just feel like i want to lose some weight...not to be anorexic or anything. in fact, i dont even need to lose weight. if i could just lose some inches on my thighs and waist then i'd be happy =)but first off, i KNOW i need to go to the gym more often. sometimes i work late so i cant go with my mama to the gym so i go maybe twice a week. but i've set a goal for myself. for the days im not working, or im not working too late, i will still go...even by myself! i want to atleast be able to fit into a size 1 or 0 and right now, i'm a size 3. which im not super unhappy about because i use to be a size 5 or even 7! i just need to start eating right ...(im just snacking too much) and exercising more. so hopefully, i will reach my goal. thing is though, my upper body is thinner than my lower body...if that makes sense. i could fit into an xs or s in shirts but i can't fit into a 0 or 1 in pants (-__-) annd, i feel like i need to change my wardrobe around. i love the clothes i have but i feel like most of them make me look like im still in highschool. when i meet random people, they still think im in highschool...i want to dress...i guess more mature and look like im in my 20s. i know it's not only about dressing the part but i dont want people to look at me and say oh she looks about 16 or 17...i'm 19 and i know that's only 2 or 3 years difference but still...i dont like to be called a highschooler...
March.4/2012
hello world,
so apparently, i have misjudged some people. which kinda hurts because ive been so close to these people for so long and theyre not who i think they are...at all. i can't believe im just finding out about this now but i guess better late than never? some people can act totally fake around you and show their true feelings to others and let them know how they really feel. i just dont get why you cant be straight up and real with me in the first place. if you have a problem with me, id be happy to hear it from you...i dont need you smiling in my face acting like you like me and then turn around and say s*** about me. i grew up with you guys and we've been close ever since...im just now finding out that it's been fake all this time? but no worries, this just teaches me that i cant trust easily and dont worry...i wont be a bother to you guys EVER again so DEUCES =)
so apparently, i have misjudged some people. which kinda hurts because ive been so close to these people for so long and theyre not who i think they are...at all. i can't believe im just finding out about this now but i guess better late than never? some people can act totally fake around you and show their true feelings to others and let them know how they really feel. i just dont get why you cant be straight up and real with me in the first place. if you have a problem with me, id be happy to hear it from you...i dont need you smiling in my face acting like you like me and then turn around and say s*** about me. i grew up with you guys and we've been close ever since...im just now finding out that it's been fake all this time? but no worries, this just teaches me that i cant trust easily and dont worry...i wont be a bother to you guys EVER again so DEUCES =)
Saturday, March 3, 2012
March.3/2012
hello world,
its sabbath! went to church today and decided to stay for potluck which was delicious! people come and go in my church so now it feels like it's not the church i grew up in. so many new faces...i thought i walked into the wrong church O_o
i guess you could say its family day today...a bunch of aunts and uncles are going to head to this supposedly "fancy" restaurant for dinner tonight and my cousin & i didnt feel like going so she's going to come over and spend some time with me...(along with some company) but it'll be fun =) im tired of going out till late at night with friends so it's nice to stay in for once and just chill.
the weather has been up and down lately =/ it was even snowing just a few days ago! i wish the summer sun would come out to play...gloomy weathers never make anyone happy. especially when they're hoping for a better day every morning they wake.
its sabbath! went to church today and decided to stay for potluck which was delicious! people come and go in my church so now it feels like it's not the church i grew up in. so many new faces...i thought i walked into the wrong church O_o
i guess you could say its family day today...a bunch of aunts and uncles are going to head to this supposedly "fancy" restaurant for dinner tonight and my cousin & i didnt feel like going so she's going to come over and spend some time with me...(along with some company) but it'll be fun =) im tired of going out till late at night with friends so it's nice to stay in for once and just chill.
the weather has been up and down lately =/ it was even snowing just a few days ago! i wish the summer sun would come out to play...gloomy weathers never make anyone happy. especially when they're hoping for a better day every morning they wake.
Friday, March 2, 2012
March.2/2012
hello world,
yeah...i've decided to post more than one post per day. just in case something happens and i forget about it at the end of the day. and i just can't wait to share it with you! =)
a good friend of mine came to visit and hang out with me today =) she really helped me keep my mind off things. we went to this asian mall today. it's pretty much full of chinese people so i fit right in! =p especially when we're ordering and i would have to order for her. but then again, i get to practice my chinese cause God knows i need some help on that LOL
i did something really dumb today. remember how i was trying to forget about something? well i broke that consistency today =/ i approached that something and felt sad afterwards...as i thought i would. luckily my friend was there...i never really like to show my emotions in front of others...(with some exceptions)...so i held back my emotions. i dont know what i'm going to do! everything is such a confusion, i wish it was as easy as turning of an engine or stopping at the stop light. i guess it's just hard to forget and let it all go because i miss it all...
yeah...i've decided to post more than one post per day. just in case something happens and i forget about it at the end of the day. and i just can't wait to share it with you! =)
a good friend of mine came to visit and hang out with me today =) she really helped me keep my mind off things. we went to this asian mall today. it's pretty much full of chinese people so i fit right in! =p especially when we're ordering and i would have to order for her. but then again, i get to practice my chinese cause God knows i need some help on that LOL
i did something really dumb today. remember how i was trying to forget about something? well i broke that consistency today =/ i approached that something and felt sad afterwards...as i thought i would. luckily my friend was there...i never really like to show my emotions in front of others...(with some exceptions)...so i held back my emotions. i dont know what i'm going to do! everything is such a confusion, i wish it was as easy as turning of an engine or stopping at the stop light. i guess it's just hard to forget and let it all go because i miss it all...
March.2/2012
hello world,
just a quick update. lately ive been trying to forget something that meant a lot to me. something that i kept holding onto for maybe a little too long. but something always brings me back to it and it never takes long. i thought maybe this time would be different and i could make it through but just last night, i had a dream that brought it all back!! >=l ive been praying to God to ask him to help me because i know i cant do it on my own and then He gives me this dream! i dont know if he's trying to test my patience or what but it's getting harder and harder.
just a quick update. lately ive been trying to forget something that meant a lot to me. something that i kept holding onto for maybe a little too long. but something always brings me back to it and it never takes long. i thought maybe this time would be different and i could make it through but just last night, i had a dream that brought it all back!! >=l ive been praying to God to ask him to help me because i know i cant do it on my own and then He gives me this dream! i dont know if he's trying to test my patience or what but it's getting harder and harder.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
March.2/2012
hello world,
how is love out there for you guys? some of you may know that i had a special someone to call my own up until this past november. im sad to see it end but happy to see it get to happen at all. there are certain experiences in life that teaches you a lot of new things and makes you come to a realization of what is really going on.
to all those people who have been in love and been hurt afterwards, we've all been there. sometimes, there are feelings that you cannot describe. feelings that you wish you could share with someone else so hopefully they can take some of the pain away but it seems that nobody else is hurting but you. isn't it funny how sometimes the people who hurt you most, are the people you keep going back to? but at the same time, the people you love/want the most are the people you're best without. sometimes, the only way to love that person is to not be with them. my friend once asked me "why did God create such a thing called love if people get hurt from it?" honestly, i wonder the same thing too but i have no clue. i just think that God does everything for a reason and all we should do is trust in Him and have faith that He's taking care of you even if you feel like turning on Him.
my relationship with God isn't where i want it to be. i keep telling myself that i need to work on it; i even plan out what i need to do to improve but it somehow ends up being postponed to...never happening. God has been with me through thick and thin..sometimes i wonder why He still puts up with me when everyone else around me has given up. i realize that i blame Him for bad things happening more than i thank Him for positive outcomes. so i apologize Lord!
how is love out there for you guys? some of you may know that i had a special someone to call my own up until this past november. im sad to see it end but happy to see it get to happen at all. there are certain experiences in life that teaches you a lot of new things and makes you come to a realization of what is really going on.
to all those people who have been in love and been hurt afterwards, we've all been there. sometimes, there are feelings that you cannot describe. feelings that you wish you could share with someone else so hopefully they can take some of the pain away but it seems that nobody else is hurting but you. isn't it funny how sometimes the people who hurt you most, are the people you keep going back to? but at the same time, the people you love/want the most are the people you're best without. sometimes, the only way to love that person is to not be with them. my friend once asked me "why did God create such a thing called love if people get hurt from it?" honestly, i wonder the same thing too but i have no clue. i just think that God does everything for a reason and all we should do is trust in Him and have faith that He's taking care of you even if you feel like turning on Him.
my relationship with God isn't where i want it to be. i keep telling myself that i need to work on it; i even plan out what i need to do to improve but it somehow ends up being postponed to...never happening. God has been with me through thick and thin..sometimes i wonder why He still puts up with me when everyone else around me has given up. i realize that i blame Him for bad things happening more than i thank Him for positive outcomes. so i apologize Lord!
March.1/2012
hello world,
it's been awhile since ive been on here. thought it was time i get back and updated you on whats been going on around here. here it goes!
i went to school in Tennessee as you know until this past december =/ i decided to come home for personal reasons and i dont plan on going back unless it's for occasional visits which im planning for august! =) nice & hot and perfect time to get my tan on LOL but i'm still sad to leave that place...i've made so many memories there...it's practically my second home. i miss the school environment there and most of all, i miss the people there! i'm really hoping i dont lose touch with any of them..
although coming home was difficult for me, i'm happy i've made it this far =) so much has been going on that it's just been one big mess. luckily, i have work and friends to keep my mind off things because once i get a moment of silence to myself...it just isn't pretty.
it's been awhile since ive been on here. thought it was time i get back and updated you on whats been going on around here. here it goes!
i went to school in Tennessee as you know until this past december =/ i decided to come home for personal reasons and i dont plan on going back unless it's for occasional visits which im planning for august! =) nice & hot and perfect time to get my tan on LOL but i'm still sad to leave that place...i've made so many memories there...it's practically my second home. i miss the school environment there and most of all, i miss the people there! i'm really hoping i dont lose touch with any of them..
although coming home was difficult for me, i'm happy i've made it this far =) so much has been going on that it's just been one big mess. luckily, i have work and friends to keep my mind off things because once i get a moment of silence to myself...it just isn't pretty.
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